Why Do We Ignore Red Flags?

Most of us have had a relationship come to a screeching halt. Most of us have spent days in distress wondering what went wrong. After getting through the trauma, we begin to recall certain events and details that seemed insignificant at the time but now prove you should have paid more attention. You remember the times you thought to yourself, "This just doesn't seem quite right," yet you moved on anyway. We wonder why we didn't just trust our instincts in the first place.

Trusting your intuition is hard work. Sometimes it requires seeing someone in a light that you would rather not. Sometimes it requires putting yourself first. Other times, it requires making a choice that you may never know was the right one. However, trusting your intuition and instincts can save you a lot of heartache in the long run. 

Another reason may be low self-esteem. You assume no one else would want you, so you choose to be ignore the red flags given by a co-worker or friend's behavior, because having someone in your life is better than no one at all. What you may not realize is that accepting the red flags may lower your self-esteem even further.

I think one of the main reasons we ignore red flags is because we don't know the difference between hope and denial. We hope that we're wrong. We hope for a future. We hope for a productive outcome. We hope for God to intervene. What we don't realize is that our "hope" is leading to a life lived in denial and false comforts.

By refusing to accept the current reality and make healthy choices based on it, we are creating a toxic environment that could potentially be impossible to thrive in. We are scared to face the reality of what is right in front of us out of fear of what we could potentially lose.

I am someone who gets annoyed with Jeremiah 29:11 (is it right or wrong to be annoyed by a verse?)...probably because I feel that it is heavily marketed. However, it is a great verse for this subject:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

As you navigate difficult situations, really reflect on this verse. If you are in a situation that is harming you and the future seems bleak...its okay to take a step back. That doesn't mean you are giving up on God or hope. He will still work regardless if you are directly in the situation or not. 

I had a situation like this within the last few years. I tried to get my point across, be civil, but nothing worked. Finally, I walked away. It was hard because I kept thinking, "God, how will you use me to fix it if I'm not there?" A friend reminded me, "Honey, God doesn't need you to fix anything. If it's in His will, it will happen." My life in certain areas did flourish because I was no longer dealing with the specific toxicity and I could think more clearly overall. 

Then about 6 months ago, this person came to me out of the blue and apologized. This apology was as shocking for me as I'm sure it was for them. You know who wasn't shocked? The big guy upstairs. The words in Jeremiah 29:11 are very real. 

I prospered, the other person prospered, and God showed Himself in a very real way. 

-- Cayla 

To read my last post about Forgiveness vs. Restoration click here

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